There’s something about November-December that always throws me off balance and drives me insaneeee! It has to be the Fall season, I bet. Alright alright, there’s no Fall out here but I’ve seen how my brain goes for a complete toss around this time.
It’s like my mind decides to have a mind of its own. This is also a period when my body gets more sensitive to slight changes in temperature. It’s one sick mess.
Well, let’s not completely blame my mind for this. That won’t be fair. Last month has been extra twisty-turny in terms of things happening around me and though I am aware I can only do so much about it, the situation sometimes really makes you think about what’s worth it and what’s not.
To be honest, it’s been five months since I probably felt my best. And because I’ve know what my personal “best” can feel like, I’m always trying to get back there one step at a time. That hasn’t been working because something pops up and there’s a sudden pause to everything! I’ve worked hard to be able to do so much that I’m capable of right now, and I do not want to do anything (anything AT ALL) that could possibly jeopardize any of the progress I’ve made. I’ve looked after my body’s needs very carefully and that’s what has helped.
A lot of times we need to look after other aspects of our health in order for our physical body to catch up. Frankly, looking after my body’s needs has allowed me to understand my, personal, deeper needs too. Ones which were pretty much muddled up for a very very very long time now. Considering the number of years that it took for my health to start deteriorating and my body to feel its effect, I’ve got a long way to go for the healing to take place – on all levels. Expecting this process to be faster or trying to rush this process is in fact only delaying it. I’m working on it and I’m going to continue to.
SO. In my attempt (yet another attempt! Wait, what else can you do right? You keep trying!) to get find that balance again….
This week I’ve managed to –
1. Cook my own meals!
2. Get back to 20-25 minutes of walking a day (survived 2km today!)
3. Make space for my quiet time
4. Start doing my usual oil massage more religiously
In terms of work, there’s so much more to consider than where it all began. I’m expecting some sort of a change soon – still weighing out options and coming to terms with the fact that sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I might just become an expert in taking leaps of faith. I don’t think that would hurt much because perhaps that’s better than being stuck; especially for the kind of support and guidance that comes along ONCE you muster the courage and let go.