Choose to heal 💞
Choose to heal 💞
“But you, my dear,
you know well
that you can’t crave the rose
and fear the thorn.”
It has taken me a long time to realise how empowering it is to learn to work with life than against it. When you co-create, you don’t resist, give up or accept defeat. Instead, you take personal responsibility and work with + around what is 🌼
Don’t let anyone rush you through your healing process. It is not selfish to take the necessary time that you need in order to heal wholly. Don’t let anyone tell you that taking time to heal is selfish. In fact, it is selfish to rush others through their process just because your pace is different. Forgive and continue on your healing journey.
Love, because how else do you become a more refined version of yourself?
Love, because how else do you learn to become more available for others and yourself?
Love, because how long can you possibly guard your fragile heart and remain surrendered to fear?
Love, because true strength lies in being vulnerable and being soft – with yourself and others.
Love, because even if there’s a risk of heartbreak and pain, there are rewards far more valuable than those transient waves of sadness.
Love, because when you choose love, you choose life.
Just about three years back, probably towards the middle of a very #dark phase of hating my body, I swore upon myself to never travel until I felt #ready. Unfortunately, I didn’t believe I’d ever feel ready enough to live in this body or #travel with it. While most people of my age were getting excited about traveling, I was feeling trapped in a body that only looked normal.
There came a point where I didn’t want anything more but to be able to look after myself, #trust my body again and be okay with where I was at. It was such a #challenge because there was absolutely nothing trustworthy about my body. I realized I could care less about seeing the world or chasing goals if I couldn’t even wash my own hair or walk around my own house.
I left a part of my past behind, took a couple of major leaps of faith and started living on my own. I decided to create a routine which provided me with the kind of stability that my body lacked; that my #environment lacked too. The idea was to build myself up again, to become comfortable with the cards I was dealt , to #empower myself and honour my #health. I had to re-imagine a life that is different and also learn to believe that different doesn’t mean bad.
After three years of the very same #routine and #lifestyle – Physiotherapy, Pilates, allopathic medicines, complimentary therapies, lots of positive-self talk, re-connecting with my creative self, allowing myself to cry and experience grief fully, accepting limitations, fighting for instead of against my body, letting go of people, places and situations which didn’t serve my new self anymore, feeding myself nourishing food, learning to find reasons to be grateful — and something shifted within me. I suddenly craved a #change, a mini #break from this routine that I had created for myself. Some time away from it to see how far I’ve come.
I’ve got more information now. I can see the #progress I’ve made and there’s more to learn. To be honest, I don’t know when I’d feel ready to travel again and this time it doesn’t matter at all. It doesn’t make me feel any less or more because I believe time will come when it must.
Watched a disturbing film last evening + had a few old and totally unrelated memories come up for me. End result, I stayed up through the night just processing all of it, writing and feeling like an absolute mess.
Yep, I tend to feel more and I don’t try to change that about myself anymore. Instead, I let myself have my emotions and try to do something productive with them, like write or cry (yes, crying is a very productive & healing activity), meditate or speak with someone who lets me have my process without trying to rush me through it. Maybe something else works for you.
To all those empaths who are (or were) told that they are “too” sensitive or that they must toughen up, I say you don’t need to bother about anyone’s definition of “too” sensitive and you don’t need to toughen up. Be soft, stay soft. True strength is found in being human; being vulnerable. Not in ‘acting’ tough, and most definitely not in numbing yourself to your emotions. It’s okay to feel, and to feel deeply.