Right Knee Update [3]

My right knee still isn’t doing well and I still need my walking cane to even walk around my apartment. I wasn’t expecting it to take this long! I’ve been home over the last 8-10 days and I’m just waiting to be able to get my to my usual routine. I’m still in so much pain, like deep muscular ache and that one point where the shelf hit my knee cap still hurts like pure crap.

Here’s a good news though – I haven’t shattered my knee cap or fractured anything. It looks pretty alright in the X-rays.

So you’d wonder, why the heck are you in so much pain?

Let me explain. Our rare bodies have a tendency to get bruised easily. That’s just how it is. Impact from any hit, even if it wasn’t as strong for a normal person, can feel like someone shoved a knife in us and left it there. On top of that kind of sharp and deep pain, thanks to our faulty collagen, healing and recovery takes forever. Like I’m not even exaggerating.

F O R E V E R.

The normal response of our bodies, after an impact, is to stiffen and tighten and freak out… which leads to our muscles literally contracting and turning rock solid. Which, by the way, doesn’t help one bit. Contraction of muscles only makes our original injury worse and more painful as it tends to exert extra pressure around an area that is hurt.

I would think if someone else got hit the way I did, they would have been perfectly fine by now, continuing with life, jumping and hopping around and training for a triathlon if they wished. My body on the other hand is  trying to do what it can do to keep me in one full piece that I wish to be in. It is keeping me in bed and demanding a lot more rest than usual. It’s unfortunate that the pain is still killing me but I’m very well aware that it’s a matter of time. Because I know my body only needs extra time and rest, I think I’m willing to be patient with it. My specialist wants me to go for more physiotherapy and  deep tissue massage (manual therapy works well with my body so I’m up for this! ) which can help release those horribly tight muscles around my knee. My quads hurt. My calf hurts. My bum hurts. My foot hurts. Basically, my entire right leg is just having a sickening flare up. 

Thankfully, I’ve pre-booked appointments with my temporary physiotherapist and massage therapist and don’t have to worry about being put on a waiting list this time.  Life turns into hell if you are injured and can’t have your regular physiotherapy sessions. I’m serious.

Now, did I mention how fatigued I’ve been lately? No? That’s fine, I’m too fatigued to type.

❤︎

Embrace.

 

Embrace yourself.

The whole of you. From head to toe.From skin to core. Every little scar, every little mark. Embrace every part that you think is too fat or too skinny. Every area that you’d rather cover, and every area you want to flaunt. Embrace the extra weight that you’ve put on or the weight you simply can’t gain. Embrace the ability for your body to change, and the truth that it has. Embrace everything that’s on and in your body, for it reflects the journey you’ve had, and the journey you are on.

                                                                                        •••

Embrace every little flaw that you think is a flaw – the bumps, the curves, the blemishes, the dimples or the moles. The thigh gap or the lack of one. Embrace every single dislocated joint, every set of horribly painful muscles. Embrace the faulty collagen that once made you feel at fault. Embrace the complexity of the cells that form you. Embrace the simplicity of your breath. Embrace every weakness, every strength that you have within you. Embrace the limitations, for that’s the first step towards working with your body and finding opportunities. Embrace your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual self because they make you the you that you are and the you that you’re about to become.

                                                                                         •••
Embrace your experience – it has torn you down into pieces, ripped all the courage out of you and built you up into a strong and beautiful person that you are. Embrace the conscious and the subconscious story you’ve written so far. Embrace all that you are creating from here on. Embrace every fragmented part of you that needs a safe spot to come together and bloom again. Embrace those cracks in your heart, those holes in your soul. Embrace that part of you which still needs to develop, learn and grow. Embrace the power within you to do all of it. Embrace the fear, the guilt, the despair and the grief that you have overcome. Embrace all that is still left to overcome. Embrace each of those disturbingly dark emotions that you feel, for that is where the alchemy begins. Embrace your deeper need to heal, for that is how the world starts to heal. One person at a time. Embrace your need for boundaries and personal space. Embrace your need for valuable connections and healthy relationships. Embrace your need to be what you want to be, and not what the world wants you to be. Embrace the disorder in your, the clutter, the chaos – it is what makes you human. Embrace all of it.

                                                                                         •••

Embrace your skills, your talents, your passion and your drive to keep moving forward. Embrace your need to go slow. Embrace your ability to know. Embrace the possibility to be lost, for you won’t always have the answers. Embrace the fact that you are unique, that you are different – like everyone else, and yet not. Embrace the sensitive being that you are. Embrace the truth that you feel more. Embrace the light and the shadow within you. Embrace the love and the pain that fills you up every single day. Embrace all the muddle and the uncertainty that you face, for each of us feels this way at some point. Embrace all that you are and all that you are not. Embrace your reality, your story and your dreams.

Embrace the perfectly imperfect and glorious mess that you are!

❤︎