Update: Two days later, left shoulder is still pretty off position. Pain wise, I’m at about 7/10. There is a fair amount of tightness along my neck and around the shoulder blade which is rather normal. When a joint goes out of position, the muscles around that joint tend to work even harder, tightening, to hold the joint in place. The effect of which is basically over-compensation of the entire body, leaving you feeling more fatigued. The tightness in the muscles around the joint tends to cause more pain than the actual, baseline pain due to sublaxation.

Take a look at my photos and try comparing it with the photo of anterior dislocation. You should be able to see some dents, areas darker than the rest. If you take a closer look at the first photo, which is actually taken two days after my shoulder sublaxed, you’ll be able to see that my humorous is slightly off the glenoid.

In a couple of days from now, I hope to go back to strengthening of the shoulder. You have to give it enough rest before starting the strengthening work, however, the longer you take to start the strengthening process, the longer the shoulder takes to recover. I usually rest it out long enough – i wait till my body gives me a green light or till I have enough confidence to start the strengthening process.

Unfortunately, the strengthening process in itself causes more pain, more tightness and someone a bit of muscle spasms. I end up needing more rest and more trigger point release once I begin the strengthening process. Keep in mind that everyone’s body is different and how it responds is vastly differently too.

Go at your own pace. Know when to listen to your body and when yo listen to your physiotherapist.



So I’m sitting in my living room listening to mantras, my palo santo burning near my bookshelf, and i suddenly realize how quiet my entire apartment is. Everything is quiet. I’m in a noisy country but at this very point in time it’s all so quiet around me. I love this. I crave for this so much. This quietness is something I want and need to live this life to my very best.

There’s been far too much movement in my life lately (or should I say, all my life) that these moments of stillness is what brings me a sense of stability and peace. It allows me to connect with myself, which has been a little hard lately considering how terribly off track I am in terms of my daily routine and rituals that help me stay sane and manage my health. I can’t possibly stress enough how much a routine and some personal rituals have helped me to get here.

As the unpacking ends and the actual settling in begins, it looks like I can finally let go a little, slow down and focus a lot more on my health.

For the last eight months or so, my health took a backseat as I simply had to get through this move. I’ve been feeling sort of out of my element, you know, kind of scattered and all I know is that it’s not where I like to be. Despite dealing with a lot more health issues throughout 2017, I’ve had to push myself and make things happen. My thought was, the quicker I got things done, the quicker I got to rest. And now that my sanctuary has come alive to quite some extent, it’s time to prioritise health and self-care and work towards my next goal. More on that later.

Okay, I’m going to keep my phone away now and get back to sitting still. To listening to my heart beat. To watching those crazy thoughts come and go. To noticing pain.

To being thankful for being here.

#sanctuary #quiet #evenings #peace #calm #love #home #mantra #meditation #chronicillness #pain #suffering #eds #ehlersdanlos #ehlersdanlossyndrome #illness #routine #rituals #onestepatatime #gratitude #thankyou #health #mind #body

Rare Disease Day 2018

Today is a big day for us spoonies.

It is the official Rare Disease Day, an observance held to raise awareness for rare diseases and their impact on the lives of patients.

While the purpose of today is to spread awareness for diseases and disorders that affect only a small percentage of the population, I’d also like to take this time to say a big thank you to the spoonie community for making me realize that there is hope, especially during the worst of my years.

Thank you for doing the best you can with what you have and where you’re at and inspiring me to do the same.

Please take a moment today to validate yourself for the progress you’ve made and for the strength and courage you exhibit despite your daily struggle.

I’m ever so grateful to have found to have found this community. You serve as a reminder for me that we are in this together. Thank you for being you, for sharing your story and spreading awareness for all things invisible to most eyes.

Keep going one day at a time!

Friends and family,

If you’d like to show some support and help share awareness, log on to, click get involved and download the material which you can then share on social media. Alternatively, drop me a DM and I can share some material with you.



#showyourrare #showyoucare

#rareillness #rarediseases #awareness #2018 #february28 #rarediseaseday #ehlersdanlos #ehlersdanlossyndrome #eds #hypermobility #pain #brainfog #migraine #dislocations #sublaxations #fatigue #health #mind #body #inspiration #motivation #onedayatatime #love #support #community

A box from the past

#rarediseaseweek #2018

Just yesterday, I found a box filled with all my design stuff which I hadn’t seen in many years. It seems I had forgotten about it and left it with my dad because I wasn’t ready to accept my new reality (and discard anything) and nor was I able resist it. I was experiencing the most horrible internal conflict of all time

To hold on or to let go.

My heart knew well that I needed to let go because I had fought enough and my body was changing. But my mind wouldn’t let me.

Holding on would mean disrespecting and dishonouring the one and only vessel I had for the rest of my life. I had to learn to accept it for what it is but how could I let go of all the things I loved, planned and wanted so much? I was suffering in every way possible.

I knew I had to pause but it was hard to put away my dreams and aspirations for a long period of uncertainty, of not knowing and having answers. And that was scary. But I did it any way because I could no longer neglect the messages from my body.

So when I decided I was ready to jump off the cliff, leave my full-time job, learn to live on my own and put my body first, I told myself I’d deal with this box when I am able to see my past as just one part of my life and not a reflection of my worth . Leaving the box behind, I remember feeling as if a burden of expectation to be the “perfect one” was lifted off my shoulder and at the same time, a heavy sense of grief towards my old self engulfed me.

Who am I without my dreams, I thought.

I know nothing off this path I have carved and imagined. I will be lost. I am lost. And what if I am never found again? What if, despite all my effort and desire to leave my old self behind, I can’t do it? How will I live from here, with the burden of having and wanting to be perfect and knowing that I was born in an imperfect body?

Does honouring my body, which feels like the right thing to do, equate to failure?

Will I be a failure in everyone’s eyes?

Am I a failure in my own eyes?

Here I am now, all set to let go of this box and its contents because they don’t serve the present me.

Maybe it all made sense to some extent then, at the age of 20 and in that once healthy body. I knew nothing more. All I knew came from old, expired programming that I grew up with and around. Today, I believe I am a better version of myself and I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

Of course, my past has served a purpose; it lead me to this day. It taught me the importance of tapping into my inner strength, finding courage to do what is right for the sake of my body, mind and soul without letting the external factors lead me into believing that what I knew was the only truth.

Today, I understand that those around me need not understand me, and that it doesn’t matter if one thinks of me as less but it can be disastrous if I ever let myself think I am not enough. Because I am. And while my path is new and least travelled, it reflects a truer version of myself. It is taking me to a place of peace with my body. I believe and I’ve noticed that this internal shift brings me closer to a life of joy and purpose, one where I wake up everyday knowing I’m making a difference whether or not it is visible to whole wide world and where I live each day as gracefully as possible.

Here I am now,

ready to let go of this box,

both literally and figuratively,

and make space for the new.

With a heart full of gratitude and a lightness, I am ready to give this part of my life a complete closure because I had already said goodbye a long, long time ago.

#chronicillness #ehlersdanlos rarediseaseweek #ehlerdanlossyndrome #hypermobility #EDS #rare #illness #2018 #awareness #pain #suffering #fatigue #brainfog #past #lettinggo #memories #interiorarchitecture #goals #dreams #aspirations#acceptance #health #mind #body #soul #purpose #healing #love


I haven’t been updating my Instagram or blog much lately and I don’t feel great about it because I really haven’t been writing much. Writing, for me, has been healing. I generally write a lot, whether or not I share my writings with anyone, but I do need that time and space to just be with myself.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to sit with a pen and paper in my quiet sanctuary where I pour my heart and soul out onto the paper. I know for sure that as my safe space starts to come together, and as my self-care routine becomes my primary focus once again, I will spend more time writing and sharing again too.

In the last two weeks, my ability to respond appropriately to my surrounding dropped drastically. It only makes sense, given that I have been dealing with too much at once. After sitting with this thought for a while, I realised that responses were coming from a place of fear and a sense of instability.

In 2017, I was once again required to make a hard choice for (not because) the sake of my health. Nonetheless, it seemed like the right thing to do and I’ve been okay with it. However, the physical of transition became so real in the last two weeks, it started taking a toll on me. I’ve been desperately trying to put things in place quickly so that I can finally let my body rest. The fear of what would happen if this transition caused my health to deteriorate even further worried me to an extent which reflected in how I responded to things around me.

I keep reminding myself that one of my strengths is and has been in my ability to adapt to the most challenging of circumstances.Unfortunately, though, I do have a tendency to be a little harsh and less compassionate with myself. Possibly a pattern from the past.

The truth is, it is extremely natural to freak out when things are moving too fast around us. This is how I see it: Transition = change = temporary instability = temporary disruption of routine = an opportunity to create a new, more present one = ability to transform & grow.

Over next couple of weeks, my goal is to allow myself the time and space to adjust. There is no need to figure out ten things at once. Some things may require my energy and others will sort themselves out.✨

Goodbye vibes!

Goodbye vibes! You’ve been my favourite apartment of all time and I will always love you. Here’s me trying to pose when I could barely even stand. I haven’t slept well in days and my body hates the crap out of me. I’ve been functioning on high dose of anti-inflammatory and pain medications, pretty terrible food choices (because there’s too much on my plate right now) and lots of positive self.

Gone are the days when I could get a million things done all by myself and as much as I wish I could do more today I can’t and that’s okay. I am able to acknowledge when I need help and ask for it and that in itself has been a great progress. That said, I can’t be more grateful for people who’ve willingly helped whenever I needed and in any way they could. A big thank you to @shreya.j90 without whom I couldn’t possibly have made it through days of sorting, packing and running errands. I’d have loved to meet up with a few more people who have been an integral part of my life here but unfortunately, I have been in a bad shape and couldn’t have pushed myself. I love every single one of you and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

I’m in so much pain right now I’m just resting in @shreya.j90’s bed on an ice pack wondering how I’m even alive. Yet, I do believe that all is well. Everything is taken care of. If could say anything more, I’ll just add that I am definitely proud of how far I’ve come in the last 9+ years of dealing with a chronic illness. It’s been a journey of lessons and blessings which I probably wouldn’t exchange for anything. Until next time, lots of love and happy vibes🤗❤️✨

Look back…

If you ever forget how strong you are, pause for a moment and look back – look at all the times you fell and stood up, not just stronger but courageous enough to try over and over again. Look back at the times you could have shut yourself to love and pain, and built a wall around your heart, but you chose to remain soft and let light in anyway. Look at the times you showed up; for people and yourself. Your story makes only a part of you, and the lessons your learn and how you evolve, make up the rest of you. Ask yourself, “how has my story changed me for the better?” If ever you doubt your strength, your ability to love, your discernment and authenticity to walk your own path, look back… look back and see how far you’ve come. It’ll make it easier to continue moving ahead if you realise how unstoppable you’ve been up till now.



#strength #soft #courage #grow #love #acceptance #life #chronicillness #relationships #chronicillnesswarrior #ehlersdanlossyndrome #hypermobility #friendship #pain #suffering #family #illness #rare #light #journey #pause #unstoppable #keepgoing #faith #trust

Latest update

Last few days have been so ridiculously exhausting. I spent most part of my birthday and Diwali week just running around hospitals, popping strong anti-inflammatory tablets and muscle relaxants and getting scans and tests to figure out the cause behind this maddening, deep ache in my right lower back, abdomen and hip (I find one-sided aches more challenging to manage).Honest to heaven, I haven’t experienced pain of a similar kind ever before in my last nine years of dealing with ehlers-danlos hypermobility type. This is not to say that I haven’t experienced pain of this intensity; no, I’ve dealt with higher magnitude of pain and much worse symptoms too. It’s just that I can easily and clearly distinguish between my ‘normal’ aches, pains and sensations and this strange, relatively new kind of discomfort, which initially seemed much like a muscle spasm. Let’s hope it’s not something I have to get used to. At this point, there are a few possibilities which we’re trying to explore and nothing can quite be said for sure till next week, sometime after my appointments with the specialists. Last couple of evenings have been just nice, calm and festive at the same time and filled with love and light (apart from food). Also, I’ve got a trip coming up real soon which I’m super excited about! Hopefully I’m healthy enough to travel and get by fairly well! There’s so much happening over the next few months I can’t even begin to explain out here…things are moving and they’re moving fast! I hope everyone’s been good. A very Happy Diwali, all!✨💕