Spinach and guac sandwich
Spinach and guac sandwich
Zoodles for the win! 🙌🏼
I wonder why things have to be so extreme out here.
Either people help you or they don’t give a shit. Either you’re expected to need help all the time or not need any. If you ask for help too much, you’re considered helpless. If you don’t need help (they want to help) and you say, “No, thank you!”– that’s rude.
If you expect people to look out for you, you get no say as to what’s okay and what’s not. You don’t get to draw a line and drawing that line is so necessary! People hover over you day in day out as if you’re in need supervision when all you need is perhaps for them to check on you once in a while. If you tell them you need space, they take it personally as if it’s all about them when it’s more about your personal space and what helps you heal.
I’ve noticed that out here, you are forever expected to entertain and be entertained when all we need sometimes is some quiet time and letting each other be. I fail to understand how a group of people can start chattering away at the crack of dawn and continue chattering away throughout the day, only taking breaks to use the loo and shower, and perhaps to sleep.
I see how there could be some positives to spending time together and doing things together — I mean, I love it too! Cooking and dining together, sitting around and catching up, playing games as a group… all that is great for bonding! What is beyond my understanding is how people don’t need pockets of their quiet, personal time to tend to themselves.
(I mean, sure, we all function differently and by no means am I saying it has to be just one way or the other, but let’s just say, it’s absolutely hard for me to relate to. Just like my illness and my lifestyle is hard for others to relate to.)
It’s such a misconception that tending to yourself means you’re selfish.
Self-care is neccessary.
When you learn to tend to yourself, you are able to be at your best self for others. When you learn to give to yourself first, you learn to give wholeheartedly to others. It’s through learning to set healthy boundaries for yourself that you learn to respect those of others. It’s through sharing quiet moments with yourself that you can truly share time with others. From my understanding, for us to forge deeper relationships with those around us, we must begin with forging a deep relationship with our ‘self’ first. And maybe this concept is too foreign for some parts of the world but personally, it has made the greatest impact in my life and how I’ve come to terms with my illness. The journey of self acceptance has a lot to do with self-care. And self-care has a lot to do with drawing a line.
If there is anything that I truly wish for, it is for our culture to introduce concepts like self-care and healthy boundaries from a young age. Imagine how far we’d come.
An old post which was left unpublished for a while
This place still reminds me of pain and suffering. A pain that held me back for years and has taken me years to let go.
This place isn’t quite home. It never felt like home and I’m not afraid to say so anymore.
This place was more of a refuge from another place claiming to be home but all it did was caused more suffering.
I searched everywhere for a place I’d want to come back to and only found places I wanted to run away from. Farther and father, every year.
Soon I realised I had to create a home for myself and that this process had to begin from within. That safe space I so terribly craved and needed had to be created with love, first towards myself.
I had to learn to be my own pillar of support and for that I had to unlearn the idea of constantly supporting and accommodating for everyone else.
To create a home for myself, I had to first be willing to accept my story; one that is way more than what I speak about.
Today, I am thankful to have a safe space for myself. A sanctuary of my own where I get to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
A space that allows me to hear my own voice and follow my heart. A space where my creativity runs wild. A space where I get to build new relationships and tend to those that matter. A space that protects me because I have learned to protect it with healthy boundaries.
I am thankful to have found silence. That stillness, which some would run away from because it’s just too much to handle. I am so thankful to have realised that once you do truly come home, there is never any need to seek it else where.
And if ever I need to rebuild a home for myself all over again, I know exactly where to start.
-not quite home
I’ve been practicing setting healthy boundaries for over three years now. Initially, it used to feel scary, the thought of setting boundaries even with your loved ones or those you once loved but over time, I realised that it is okay to feel terrible about it and yet want to draw a line between yourself and anyone else.
It is important to protect your space; both internally and externally. That fear, that terrible feeling which sometimes feels like guilt is usually temporary and when you do in fact start seeing some positive shifts and change from learning to set healthy boundaries, that temporary feeling does disappear. Soon, you experience a very light, freeing feeling. I know this for sure.
I found peace in knowing that I’m doing what I’m doing for my the sake of my well-being and it always seemed worth it.
Setting healthy boundaries in your close and distant relationships is an integral part of self-care. It does not mean that you don’t tend to others. It means that you learn to tend to yourself first. Shifting your focus and attention towards what or who really matter frees up space and energy which can definitely be directed towards other greater things. There were many times in my life when events and situations around me made me feel helpless, as if there was no form of separation between me and others. I found that I was running low on energy for myself and that it was affecting my entire being.
It took me years to learn to set healthy boundaries and say ‘no’, firmly and politely where necessary.
Sometimes I catch myself slipping off my practice as well but I’m quicker to find my space and bring myself to stand my ground. You are allowed to go to any extent to ensure that your peace, solitude and sanity are well taken care of.
Here’s the thing about looking like a perfectly healthy individual when the truth is something else altogether
A bus has to wait for you to get into uber and the driver thinks you’re this fit and fine woman taking her own sweet time when you’re actually calculating every action and movement because both your shoulders are still hanging off loose and no body sees it.
You rush a little bit, your joints dislocate. Everyone’s fine. You’re not. Accidents happen and insurance companies might reimburse you a certain amount but that’s not going to get you your health back.
Well, you can’t expect every other person on the street to know your story and that’s unrealistic. I’m writing this post based on nothing but fear, a very natural fear that doesn’t paralyse me mentally or emotionally (or even physically) but serves as a reminder to stay fully aware because that’s all I can do to protect myself. That’s all anyone with any form of disability can really do. And yet, despite all your awareness and presence, things happen. Shit can go wrong because there are so many other factors at play too.
Point being, let fear serve and guide you instead of letting it paralyse you. Acknowledge fear as a self-protection mechanism and do what’s needed from there. Whoever says they’re not afraid of anything are definitely lying to themselves and the world.
Peanut Butter + Strawberry Jam on a Rice Cake
With my appetite being on the low side for the last few months, and now that I am finally back from a holiday, I had to find ways to make sure I don’t stuff my body (because my stomach seriously can’t handle it) while ensuring that I am still eating something.
Any form of grains tend to cause me too much bloating and heaviness in my gut but because I do have other pain medications to take other than just the antibiotics for SIBO, I try to at least have something relatively light and easy on my gut. There’s no SIBO specific diet I need to follow for now.
Over the last one week or so, I’ve observed that a piece of rice cracker doesn’t seem to over-bloat me and fills me up just enough to keep my body functioning. It’s been working well for now and plus, there is just no limit to the different toppings you can enjoy it with!
My friend and I decided to make these hoping that perhaps its ingredients list was enticing enough to make me hungry. Besides, since I’ve been feeling very low on energy too, we thought one energy ball might suffice for the times I totally can’t stand any other food.
Unfortunately, I’m starting on a new batch of medicines today and have some dietary restrictions to follow. Hence, I decided to pack these up and give them away to my friends and family instead.
Really simple ingredients and super easy to make.
Here’s what you need:
All you have to do is put all these ingredients into a blender, one at a time, give it a nice final blend and that’s it – roll out tiny balls out of this blended mixture, coat them with more shredded coconut and refrigerate for about 30 minutes before serving.