Update: New Website and New Blog

Hi there everyone! I know it’s been forever since I posted any updates on here. It’s not that things have been all well for me health wise but it’s just that I’ve been channeling most of my precious time and energy towards building and creating something new, which obviously leaves me with nothing for this blog. I still write on my personal Instagram once in a while and post on my stories, but that’s only if I really feel called to do it or I can’t wait to share Luna’s cuteness with everyone.

Going back to building and creating something new. I am a Certified Life Coach and I am in the process of creating a business from scratch. This time, I am genuinely praying to the Universe for some stability till I manage to get things up and running. But again, that’s not entirely in my control so I’m doing my best with what I have. My intention is to create something sustainable in the long-run so that my health and my business are somewhat in harmony. The thought of being able to work from my bed if I must is too exciting! I love my bed and we have a long-term relationship that I have learned to accept.

Honestly, to would suck to have come so far in terms of my health and personal journey and not be able to use all the lessons and wisdom gained to help others. I feel so ready to start speaking about and discussing things beyond just my physical health. I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll say it again but my physical health is just one aspect of my entire journey so far. It’s chronic but it’s just one part of my story so far and how I’d like to impact the world we live in.

So, keeping in mind that self-care will always be my priority, I am trying to find that balance and re-create a routine that works for me. I’m noticing that I can only put it around 3 hours a day into my work, and need an extra day in the week to rest (proclaimed rest day) apart from the weekends. I’m being very intentional and directional in terms of my focus and energy, that includes also saying no to things that absolutely add no value to my life and my dreams.

My mantra of taking it one day at a time is still working its magic for me.

Now, the main reason I’m writing this post is to share my new website with you and also invite you to subscribe and share my blog posts. I’ll be writing a post on this new website on a weekly basis and in a few months time, I will also have a monthly Love Memo sent out. To be super honest, the work I’m planning to do and things I will be sharing isn’t for everyone, but if you’re interested in knowing more or my words resonate with you, please feel free to subscribe!

For starters, I’m going to be writing posts on topics like

🌼Radical Self-care

🌼Self-love

🌼Holistic Well-being

🌼Healthy Relationships

🌼Healthy Boundaries

🌼Family Dynamics

🌼Mindfulness

🌼Mental Health

🌼Healing from trauma

I will be writing on this blog from time to time but as I mentioned in the start of this post, I will be focusing most of my time and energy on the new, upcoming stuff! My personal Instagram is where you’d find most of my updates on health and life in general so feel free to follow me on @mdalvi15

That’s all for now.

Love,
M

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Update: New Website and New Blog

Hi there everyone! I know it’s been forever since I posted any updates on here. It’s not that things have been all well for me health wise but it’s just that I’ve been channeling most of my precious time and energy towards building and creating something new, which obviously leaves me with nothing for this blog. I still write on my personal Instagram once in a while and post on my stories, but that’s only if I really feel called to do it or I can’t wait to share Luna’s cuteness with everyone.

Going back to building and creating something new. I am a Certified Life Coach and I am in the process of creating a business from scratch. This time, I am genuinely praying to the Universe for some stability till I manage to get things up and running. But again, that’s not entirely in my control so I’m doing my best with what I have. My intention is to create something sustainable in the long-run so that my health and my business are somewhat in harmony. The thought of being able to work from my bed if I must is too exciting! I love my bed and we have a long-term relationship that I have learned to accept.

Honestly, to would suck to have come so far in terms of my health and personal journey and not be able to use all the lessons and wisdom gained to help others. I feel so ready to start speaking about and discussing things beyond just my physical health.

So, keeping in mind that self-care will always be my priority, I am trying to find that balance and re-create a routine that works for me. I’m noticing that I can only put it a few hours a day into my work (with pain still bothering me), and need an extra day in the week to rest all day (proclaimed rest day) apart from the weekends. Also, sometimes I wake up and I can’t function, so those days turn into rest days too.I’m being very intentional and directional in terms of my focus and energy, that includes also saying no to things that absolutely add no value to my life and my dreams.

My mantra of taking it one day at a time is still working its magic for me.

Now, the main reason I’m writing this post is to share my new website with you and also invite you to subscribe and share my blog posts. I’ll be writing a post on this new website on a weekly basis and in a few months time, I will also have a monthly Love Memo sent out. To be super honest, the work I’m planning to do and things I will be sharing isn’t for everyone, but if you’re interested in knowing more or my words resonate with you, please feel free to subscribe!

For starters, I’m going to be writing posts on topics like

🌼Radical Self-care

🌼Self-love

🌼Holistic Well-being

🌼Healthy Relationships

🌼Healthy Boundaries

🌼Family Dynamics

🌼Mindfulness

🌼Mental Health

🌼Healing from trauma

I will be writing on this blog from time to time but as I mentioned in the start of this post, I will be focusing most of my time and energy on the new, upcoming stuff! My personal Instagram is where you’d find most of my updates on health and life in general so feel free to follow me on @mdalvi15

That’s all for now.

Love,
M

{blood and years don’t matter}

I’m experiencing deep emotional pain right now. I’m going to acknowledge that, let it be until it leaves, and also keep in mind that I’ve done my very best.

Self-awareness doesn’t mean that you’ll never make mistakes. It means that even if you did, you will pick up on it and respond in a way that best aligns with your highest self.

It also means that you walk away from things and people that take away from you.

Trust me when I say this — it doesn’t matter how long you know someone or if you share a blood relationship with that person.

What matters is how much you and them evolve as people, how you communicate and whether you’re truly there for them.

This year has taught me that no matter how much healing work of acceptance and forgiveness you do, some dynamics never change. You do the work for yourself; so that you can create a life and relationships that are supportive.

It doesn’t excuse their behaviour and all the nasty things they may have done to you, but it frees you from the suffering of it. It frees up time and energy for better things in life.

In the last two days, I’ve reached a completion with two relationships in my life. I am very peacefully convinced that I have tried my best and that I no longer need to keep anchoring the relationships.

I am not longer available for it.

I am letting go, with love, what I thought I shared with them.

❤️

Spending the next few days and possibly even the rest of the week in bed. I tried to push through last week, hoping the tightness and spasms in my lower back and sacrum subsided but unfortunately, there has been no progress. Strengthening is on hold for the time being and we’re trying IFT + manual work on my lower back during physiotherapy.

About six days ago, i fell right on my bum while taking a photo of a friend and since then, my already triggered lower back pain got much worse. Having a sublaxed tailbone and two slipped discs makes pain unbearable sometimes. Add injury or impact of any sort and that takes it to another level. My reaction was to get more physiotherapy done, tend to it using all my pain management techniques and increase my dose of analgesics and anti-inflammatories.

Yesterday, however, just as I was trying to get out of bed, I realised I couldn’t possibly let this continue. I had to finally pause and listen to my body. I need to provide it with a conducive environment to heal and recover. I now need to allow it time and give myself permission to rest without guilt. Starting today, I’m going to do just that. I’ll work on my coaching coursework and do what is possible from my bed, pacing and resting when necessary. It’s time to give it time.

Anger

Some of us are raised having to justify our anger. We are raised to think that emotion of anger is “bad” and that we are bad people for experiencing that feeling.

Anger is not inherently a negative emotion. It is an emotion that calls for acknowledgement + action. Perhaps what you do with it could be categorised as a negative or positive action.

We need to raise our kids to understand that feeling angry is as natural as feeling happy and emphasize fully experiencing anger and then responding accordingly. Not reacting. Responding.

Really asking, “what is my anger telling me?” instead of distracting the moment you experience the very first sign of anger.
We need to teach our kids to find productive ways of processing anger without feeling afraid of it or feeling guilty for having that emotion.

We need to teach them to sit with it.

Write and share it in a safe space.

Maybe go for a run.

Channel it into a creative project.

Anger and passion are two sides of the same coin. Suppressing one means suppressing the other and consequences of both aren’t healthy.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I’ve seen both extremes. One side acted out, the other preferred to suppress and I’ve personally seen how damaging damaging both can be. One can damage your relationship with others, the other can easily damage your relationship with yourself, which then ultimately affects the first.

I’m not advocating reacting in a way that’s hurtful or acting out because that’s giving in to anger and nor am I suggesting holding on to it till it crushes your insides.

We don’t want either.

We want to try to tap into our wisdom and awareness, knowing when to take some time out to ourselves to feel the anger, where to speak about it and most importantly, what to do with it.

Last few years of spending a lot of time alone, I got a chance to work on and let go of the trauma and pain from my past which needed to be looked at. Thankfully, I’ve healed from most of it but I still remember how that emotion has always caused me more pain than it needed to.

I didn’t know what to do with that anger because of what I saw around me as a kid — how was I supposed to experience and overcome anger if I either wasn’t allowed to speak about it OR was surrounded by angry people, yelling and screaming at one another? How was I, as a child, supposed to gauge what is right and what isn’t? So I naturally grew up confused around that emotion — feeling like utter shit about myself for even having that feeling. I held on to it until one day I figured it was eating me up from inside. It took me a while to find productive ways of dealing with my anger and it started with naming it. Being okay with it. Letting myself have that emotion without generating more drama around it.

Sometimes anger just wants to be heard. And I wish someone told me that 20 years ago.

These days I write about it until I can’t write anymore. I cry it out. I call my close friends and request them to be my sounding board. I take a bath. I go for a walk alone. I even speak with my spiritual guidance teacher. If I feel like it, I draw out my feelings and then tear out those papers. Sometimes I keep them to look back. Then I meditate. Take deep breaths throughout the day and sleep over it too. I give myself all the time and space I need to fully experience that emotion before I decide how I want to respond to the situation or the person who triggered the anger in me. At times this looks like having a word with them and at times, it looks like never going back.

Next time you experience anger,give yourself the full permission to feel it without any form of guilt. Remember, it’s both natural and okay to experience “negative” emotions. You’re don’t have to beat yourself up for feeling them. Instead, lean in to those emotions. Listen in.

Be kind with yourself. Find your safe space where you can feel your feelings without being judged and remain there for as long as needed.

<3

How do you define work?

https://themighty.com/2018/02/unable-to-work-because-of-illness/

Every bit of this resonates with me.

It’s a constant struggle for people like me to remember our worth when there is so much stigma around being sick (especially young and sick) and not being able to work.

It often makes me wonder, how do you define work anyway?

Does work = I bring money to the table every single time? does my voluntary work with kids with troubled childhood which doesn’t earn me anything but makes me feel valuable and like I’m making some difference count as work? Does me trying to help an individual who is newly chronically ill/struggling with their health mean anything in the society at all?

What about the times I teach classes hoping they help those who participate — does that count as work even if it’s not always sustainable? What about the job I did as a receptionist at a pilates studio hoping I’d be able to stick with it and then got bedridden — does that count at all? Is that seen?

Does it matter that people like myself at one point had great aspirations and goals too and had to leave those behind, grieve our old selves and learn to accept what we’re presented with? Does anyone ever see the pain and the courage behind having to leave what brings most of us financial stability and freedom in order to prioritise health?

What about the work you put in day in day out to look after a faulty body? Imagine having to look after an extremely mischievous and sick child who doesn’t listen to you for twenty four seven. No break whatsoever. Not even when you sleep.

It’s easy for people to ask, “what do you do?” because it’s the most common way to start a conversation. It’s also very understandable and I have a standard answer ready. But you won’t believe the number of people I’ve come across up till now with the mindset that if you’re not working, traveling and or working out, you’re probably doing nothing. Or not doing enough of something. Or aren’t ambitious enough. Have no goals. Have nothing figured out.

What makes so many people think that those who’re sick are lazy or not ambitious enough? Couldn’t our ambitions and priorities have changed? Can we not bring empathy, compassion and kindness to the table instead of money? Is it not possible for us to do our part in some other way? Can we not be the people you turn to when things aren’t going right? Can we not support the family and household in other ways?

Or how about this: is it not possible that by us doing our self-work and learning to accept and tend to our illness allows us to manage the illness a little better and hence take some load and burden off those who are trying to support us? Isn’t that work too?