Flare up essentials 

 Kittens/puppies
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Dark chocolate

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Warm shower/bath

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Essential oils

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Journal + Pens

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Books

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Flowers

Tea or coffee

 Comfy clothes

Bed with a good mattress

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Pretty nails

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Peace + Quiet

Meditation + Mala

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Good food

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Friends/Family

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Plus of course, all ‘medical essentials’ (long list) depending on your specific condition and symptoms.

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If you can read your own scans and reports, understand the terms and see how they correlate to your symptoms + ask appropriate questions + are aware that a patient’s real-time experience doesn’t always match the descriptions in medical books (one size NEVER fits all), you can be rest assured that chronic illness has changed you for life.

Update on my latest MRI coming up soon. Currently too bloody exhausted to type more.

Love to all and stay well!

Day 26: Bedbound

It seems my lower back is just going to take its time to heal and I’m slowly starting to ease in. Once it starts to show signs of recovery, I’m confident I’d be able to build it up all over again (you fall, you get hurt, you accept, you adjust, you love, you heal, you put yourself together and you keep going) because I’ve done it time and again.

I might need to investigate if there’s any new injury or anything to worry about as this has been a rather severe back flare up in the last few months. Let’s hope there’s nothing new in there. I plan to get it checked in a few days, once I get through a few more sessions of physiotherapy and Ayurveda treatment to see if my back responds. I postponed getting it checked earlier because I’m aware of a couple of factors which could be hindering the recovery process.

I’m done resisting the present, hoping and expecting my back to respond just because I have a time frame in mind. I’m slowly easing in, accepting that despite my plans for January 2017, there was a need for me to slow down. And here I am finally allowing myself to. I can’t be more grateful for the support I have right now which makes it possible for me to give my back a break for the time being. I’ve dealt with a great deal of instability for years altogether and realise the importance of having support/stability AND also being grateful for whatever of it you have.

This is not to say that I can wait for too long to feel more like myself again. I feel like a zombie version of myself right now! Truth being said, nobody enjoys experiencing so much pain or dealing with limitations. I seriously despise being unable to do things I’ve worked so hard to get myself to over the last couple of years. I think it’s always good to pause as long as you don’t quit. The  present situation  calls for me to rest, to let go more so my back heals and regains its strength again. I know I’ll be back on my feet soon enough.

Love to all,

MD

❤︎

Update: Week 1 of 2017

It’s been seven days now and I’m still waiting for this back flare up to calm down. I’m mostly bedridden at the moment, getting out of bed only if it’s absolutely necessary. I haven’t gone for Pilates or even stepped out for my daily walks. I also had a pretty bad brain-fog which lasted for a couple of  days.

All in all, it feels like 2017 hasn’t quite begun for me and I’m still stuck in 2016, dealing with the consequences of stepping out for a light dinner with a couple of friends on New Year’s Eve. We got stuck in a bad traffic jam the same night and ended up feeling hungry at the strike of mindnight, which then made us want to get some food by the beach before finally heading home.

I’m always putting my health first and never feel the need to be out or go crazy or involve myself in anything just because that’s normal for people. So once in a rare while, I don’t mind *celebrating an occasion, even if it involves a bit more of my physical energy and dealing with its consequences for a while. Even then – it’s usually pretty low key and I love that.

* if you’re chronically sick and your days revolve around health and constant figuring out/surviving, the more reasons you find to celebrate life in your own ways, the better it is. You don’t need to try and act normal or do it the way “normal” people do it. Just find what works for you and live your kind of normal to its best.

My treatment-diet for SIBO has finally started and I will be starting another round of antibiotics (one dose did nothing for me) next week on. The low FODMAP diet,as a treatment for SIBO, can become rather restrictive/limiting in terms of your food options (especially when you mostly make healthy choices anyway) and can end up frustrating most people on it. It requires you to plan your meals down to each ingredient. Somehow, at least at this point, I’m looking at it as yet another opportunity to further my knowledge in nutrition and to get really creative and experimental with low FODMAPs.

I can be quite disciplined and patient when it comes to my health so I’m not expecting too many issues at this point.  However, I might have to include more meat in my meals and I’m not much of a meat-eater. Let’s see how that goes for me. I think I’m going to miss dark chocolate and chai the most!

I’m trying to keep my meals simply and easy to preprare so they don’t take away too much of my mental and physical energy unnecessarily. I do however want to be capable of preparing quick meals for myself as far as possible. I’ll try to share some of my creations as and when I’m able to.

That’s all for now!