I just feel like saying a big thank you to all those who've loved me through my struggle with finding a diagnosis, leaving an old life behind, resisting a new one, accepting and coming to terms with where I'm at and making drastic lifestyle/career changes in order to manage my health.
Thank you for loving me despite my chronic illness. Thank you for learning to grow with me ❤️
You didn't have to be family to promise that you'd be around whenever I need – you just chose to be there for me. Thank you!
It’s Ganesh Chaturthi today, the birth day of Lord Ganesh and basically …
I don’t know enough about it (but Google does!).
What I do know FOR SURE is this –
🔸This day always fills me up with excitement each time
🔸It’s an occasion that used to bring my entire family together and I’ve got some incredible memories of this festival
🔸I am aware of the basic rituals – a little prayer that you do, certain dishes you prepare (I’m not sure why you make each), general overview of the days you celebrate (5,7 or 11 days I think) it.
🔸It is a great opportunity to dress up
🔸I miss my brother
P.S. Whatever you’re reading right now is being typed as I get ready
I wouldn’t call myself particularly religious; definitely not like my parents or family. I think I am “religious” about things that work for me and I believe in them. I’ve always been given the freedom to have my own belief system and hence I am fine with everyone else choosing what works for them – whatever helps one feel happy and peaceful from deep within + helps him/her get through the hardships of life. You might have guessed by now that religion is really not one of my favourite topics.
Having said all of the above, here’s how I’m doing it –
I’ve set up my altar, with a beautiful statue of Lord Ganesha resting on coral beads. I haven’t specifically decorated my altar because my alter is rather personal and symbolic in itself. Every little thing on it is there for a reason. All I did was just cleaned it up, added some fresh flowers, lit some candles and rose incense sticks – that’s it.
I’ve invited a couple of really close friends over to my house. We’ll sing along one or two devotional songs (okay okay, I do know the lyrics of some. It happens when your family has been singing it for years you know?) and have a mini dinner, which we’ll probably call for. My dinner is going to look rather different from their’s as I’ve got a SIBO test on the very next day. More on that next time.
Oh, here’s an important bit. We’ve decided to dress up too because HEY!! We don’t get a chance otherwise! Who gets a chance to wear a nath these days anyway?! Nath, by the way, is a Maharashtrian style nose ring and I’ve been dyingggg to wear mine (I don’t get a chance to wear it these days anymore since I don’t perform much). I can’t wait for my friends to show up now!
As prashad, we’re having (my friends) some dark chocolate (instead of these sweet rice dumpling kind of a thing called ‘modak’) and I believe Ganesh ji is going to like my modern twist to his birthday celebration.
I also plan to FaceTime my family and my close friends later in the evening. Everyone’s all over the world this time so I’m freaking thankful for FaceTime. I’m beyond grateful for a small set of close friends I have today – they’ve done so much for me up till date. Sometimes they willingly become my extra pair of hands, helping me with things I simply have no physical ability to do. Other times, they patiently sit next to me (they get me dark chocolate quite often) while I just lay down in pain. I can’t thank the Universe enough for a bunch of loving people around me.
Let’s see… I think that’s it. That’s really it. That’s my version of a mini Ganesh Chaturthi celebration in my sweet little apartment. We’ve got Ganesh ji + positive vibes + food + friends + a grateful heart + good clothes + technology to keep in touch with the rest of the world – what else can anyone ask for?
By the way, in case you’re wondering,GBM stands for ‘Ganpati Bappa Morya’, which supposedly means ‘Lord Ganesh Bless’. For me, it’s something you happily and enthusiastically yell out a number of times through the course of this festival.
Happy Lord Ganesha’s Birthday everyone! *Yell GBM now*
Ok, I can’t lie. I am tired. Freaking tired. It’s just been two days and I’ve got two weeks ahead. I want to be able to get through these two weeks well, even if there is a high possibility that my days will leave me with no energy for myself. I might need an increased dose of pain-killers too. Maybe I’d need most of my joints taped up too. I’m prepared and I have the support I need.I keep telling myself, one day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. There is work and Pilates and Physiotherapy and some not-so-fun paperwork and I’m on a short family vacation at dad’s because my little brother’s here. I can’t predict how the next two weeks would pan out. I can’t tell. I’m not used to such a schedule. I could do with all the spoons on this planet right now.