Update: New Website and New Blog

Hi there everyone! I know it’s been forever since I posted any updates on here. It’s not that things have been all well for me health wise but it’s just that I’ve been channeling most of my precious time and energy towards building and creating something new, which obviously leaves me with nothing for this blog. I still write on my personal Instagram once in a while and post on my stories, but that’s only if I really feel called to do it or I can’t wait to share Luna’s cuteness with everyone.

Going back to building and creating something new. I am a Certified Life Coach and I am in the process of creating a business from scratch. This time, I am genuinely praying to the Universe for some stability till I manage to get things up and running. But again, that’s not entirely in my control so I’m doing my best with what I have. My intention is to create something sustainable in the long-run so that my health and my business are somewhat in harmony. The thought of being able to work from my bed if I must is too exciting! I love my bed and we have a long-term relationship that I have learned to accept.

Honestly, to would suck to have come so far in terms of my health and personal journey and not be able to use all the lessons and wisdom gained to help others. I feel so ready to start speaking about and discussing things beyond just my physical health. I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll say it again but my physical health is just one aspect of my entire journey so far. It’s chronic but it’s just one part of my story so far and how I’d like to impact the world we live in.

So, keeping in mind that self-care will always be my priority, I am trying to find that balance and re-create a routine that works for me. I’m noticing that I can only put it around 3 hours a day into my work, and need an extra day in the week to rest (proclaimed rest day) apart from the weekends. I’m being very intentional and directional in terms of my focus and energy, that includes also saying no to things that absolutely add no value to my life and my dreams.

My mantra of taking it one day at a time is still working its magic for me.

Now, the main reason I’m writing this post is to share my new website with you and also invite you to subscribe and share my blog posts. I’ll be writing a post on this new website on a weekly basis and in a few months time, I will also have a monthly Love Memo sent out. To be super honest, the work I’m planning to do and things I will be sharing isn’t for everyone, but if you’re interested in knowing more or my words resonate with you, please feel free to subscribe!

For starters, I’m going to be writing posts on topics like

🌼Radical Self-care

🌼Self-love

🌼Holistic Well-being

🌼Healthy Relationships

🌼Healthy Boundaries

🌼Family Dynamics

🌼Mindfulness

🌼Mental Health

🌼Healing from trauma

I will be writing on this blog from time to time but as I mentioned in the start of this post, I will be focusing most of my time and energy on the new, upcoming stuff! My personal Instagram is where you’d find most of my updates on health and life in general so feel free to follow me on @mdalvi15

That’s all for now.

Love,
M

Update: New Website and New Blog

Hi there everyone! I know it’s been forever since I posted any updates on here. It’s not that things have been all well for me health wise but it’s just that I’ve been channeling most of my precious time and energy towards building and creating something new, which obviously leaves me with nothing for this blog. I still write on my personal Instagram once in a while and post on my stories, but that’s only if I really feel called to do it or I can’t wait to share Luna’s cuteness with everyone.

Going back to building and creating something new. I am a Certified Life Coach and I am in the process of creating a business from scratch. This time, I am genuinely praying to the Universe for some stability till I manage to get things up and running. But again, that’s not entirely in my control so I’m doing my best with what I have. My intention is to create something sustainable in the long-run so that my health and my business are somewhat in harmony. The thought of being able to work from my bed if I must is too exciting! I love my bed and we have a long-term relationship that I have learned to accept.

Honestly, to would suck to have come so far in terms of my health and personal journey and not be able to use all the lessons and wisdom gained to help others. I feel so ready to start speaking about and discussing things beyond just my physical health.

So, keeping in mind that self-care will always be my priority, I am trying to find that balance and re-create a routine that works for me. I’m noticing that I can only put it a few hours a day into my work (with pain still bothering me), and need an extra day in the week to rest all day (proclaimed rest day) apart from the weekends. Also, sometimes I wake up and I can’t function, so those days turn into rest days too.I’m being very intentional and directional in terms of my focus and energy, that includes also saying no to things that absolutely add no value to my life and my dreams.

My mantra of taking it one day at a time is still working its magic for me.

Now, the main reason I’m writing this post is to share my new website with you and also invite you to subscribe and share my blog posts. I’ll be writing a post on this new website on a weekly basis and in a few months time, I will also have a monthly Love Memo sent out. To be super honest, the work I’m planning to do and things I will be sharing isn’t for everyone, but if you’re interested in knowing more or my words resonate with you, please feel free to subscribe!

For starters, I’m going to be writing posts on topics like

🌼Radical Self-care

🌼Self-love

🌼Holistic Well-being

🌼Healthy Relationships

🌼Healthy Boundaries

🌼Family Dynamics

🌼Mindfulness

🌼Mental Health

🌼Healing from trauma

I will be writing on this blog from time to time but as I mentioned in the start of this post, I will be focusing most of my time and energy on the new, upcoming stuff! My personal Instagram is where you’d find most of my updates on health and life in general so feel free to follow me on @mdalvi15

That’s all for now.

Love,
M

{blood and years don’t matter}

I’m experiencing deep emotional pain right now. I’m going to acknowledge that, let it be until it leaves, and also keep in mind that I’ve done my very best.

Self-awareness doesn’t mean that you’ll never make mistakes. It means that even if you did, you will pick up on it and respond in a way that best aligns with your highest self.

It also means that you walk away from things and people that take away from you.

Trust me when I say this — it doesn’t matter how long you know someone or if you share a blood relationship with that person.

What matters is how much you and them evolve as people, how you communicate and whether you’re truly there for them.

This year has taught me that no matter how much healing work of acceptance and forgiveness you do, some dynamics never change. You do the work for yourself; so that you can create a life and relationships that are supportive.

It doesn’t excuse their behaviour and all the nasty things they may have done to you, but it frees you from the suffering of it. It frees up time and energy for better things in life.

In the last two days, I’ve reached a completion with two relationships in my life. I am very peacefully convinced that I have tried my best and that I no longer need to keep anchoring the relationships.

I am not longer available for it.

I am letting go, with love, what I thought I shared with them.

❤️

{deep waters}

People can only meet you as deeply as they can meet themselves. If one can’t handle the complexities of your being + experience, they probably can’t handle the complexities of their own.

I’ve learnt to let go of, with love, things and people that no longer serve me.

At first I used to think that my health, apart from taking away things that I loved, took away people I loved. Today, after a decade of dealing with the ups and downs of my health, I’ve realised one important thing: my health is a beautiful filter for all relationships in my life. My relationship with people as well as things. When it takes away, it keeps aside the best of the best.

I’ve lost people I thought I couldn’t live without and also gained people I least expected would show me so much love and understanding. The support and guidance that has shown up in my life in the last four years has been immensely helpful for me to make peace with where I’m at.

I don’t mean to say for a moment that those who are no longer in my life are bad people. But, they were incapable or unwilling to swim in the deep. They preferred the shallow waters. Not everyone’s realities are the same and some of us are more aware of this + willing and capable of accepting it when it comes to people we care about.

My health has also taught me another thing: the importance of healthy boundaries. Drawing boundaries with people is not the same as building walls between you and them. You get to decide who gets to visit the garden you’re growing, how long they stay and what they take with them.

If someone had told me these things years ago, I think I might just have suffered a little less. I would like to think I had to learn these lessons through personal experiences. Looking back, no matter how painful it was to let go of things, people and the idea of a certain kind of life, I would say it has been an eye-opening experience which has now aligned me with a life more supportive of who I am and my reality.

I’ve always believed in quality over quantity in most areas of my life. Today, the people I am surrounded with are those who listen, try to understand and also do their own research when it comes to having a loved one with a life-altering illness. They also trust my experience when I speak about it and we’ve learned to have a more open and honest communication.

Grateful to be back home after spending a day at the hospital. I had a random and severe episode of syncope two afternoon’s back but thankfully nothing life-threatening showed up. The cause remains unclear but from our understanding, it could’ve been anything from dehydration to my gastro symptoms to extreme fatigue.

Thank you to the kind souls who reached out. I feel so loved and care for. A much bigger thank you to those who’ve stood by me through the thick and thin.

❤️

-M

Spending the next few days and possibly even the rest of the week in bed. I tried to push through last week, hoping the tightness and spasms in my lower back and sacrum subsided but unfortunately, there has been no progress. Strengthening is on hold for the time being and we’re trying IFT + manual work on my lower back during physiotherapy.

About six days ago, i fell right on my bum while taking a photo of a friend and since then, my already triggered lower back pain got much worse. Having a sublaxed tailbone and two slipped discs makes pain unbearable sometimes. Add injury or impact of any sort and that takes it to another level. My reaction was to get more physiotherapy done, tend to it using all my pain management techniques and increase my dose of analgesics and anti-inflammatories.

Yesterday, however, just as I was trying to get out of bed, I realised I couldn’t possibly let this continue. I had to finally pause and listen to my body. I need to provide it with a conducive environment to heal and recover. I now need to allow it time and give myself permission to rest without guilt. Starting today, I’m going to do just that. I’ll work on my coaching coursework and do what is possible from my bed, pacing and resting when necessary. It’s time to give it time.

this is a photo from last year when I stepped out of my apartment for the first time after being bedridden for seven months. Apart from the trips i made to the hospital for tests and appointments, i was completely bedbound due to a massive lower back flare which caused excruciating pain and muscle spasms in my entire lower body. i was also undergoing a treatment for #sibo, following a highly restrictive diet which was helping my physical symptoms and also changing my relationship with food for the first time. With support from my close friends and a couple of family members, i somehow survived those seven months in my own apartment, walking not more than 200 something steps per day. i think i’ve dealt with times worse than that and have come out a little wiser and stronger each time in my entire life. Despite spending countless nights in pain and doubt of whether i’d get out of bed the next day, i’m still here today. Not ‘fixed’ or magically cured. Just doing my best and allowing myself some rest. And so are you. And I promise, if you’ve come this far, you can go even farther.

Once a dancer always a dancer

So I was busy decluttering my to-be home office, discarding the old and making space for the new. It’s a ritual that I take seriously because it allows me to work with my feelings about the things I own, my past, present and future.

Determined to pull an all-nighter according to Canadian time so that I can peacefully fall asleep at night, I decided to play a list of fast Bollywood songs which is specifically created to lift my spirit up from time to time. I thought it was helping me stay up and get work done.

Just then, this one song plays and I’m like nahhhh, everything can wait. Everything must wait. I need to do this.

Think about it for a moment:

With the dark cloud of chronic illness constantly hovering above us, what can we do to lift our spirits?

What sparks true joy within us?

Could we be letting our disability confine us more than it needs to?

Can we not find ways to work within our limits and still experience similar feelings of passion?

I think we can.

We’re all different, with different illnesses, different degrees of severity, different scale of limitations, different support systems, different biographies which could very well translate into a drastically different experience altogether — there’s absolutely no reason for us to even make that comparison. All said and done, each of us is doing our best to work with the cards we’ve been dealt.

BUT. In the midst of the pain and suffering, I think it’s possible to find ways to work with or around things we truly enjoy. I can’t dance like before, nor can I move with as much energy, but I do know for a fact that when I’m on my roller chair and if symptoms are manageable for the day, I might be able to move a little and FEEL that same feeling I experienced when I danced in the past. I do have to be careful though but I’ve reached a conclusion that you can’t take dance out of me.

It makes me feel alive and so I do it very often :) I hope you enjoy my crazy and find something that makes you feel a tad bit crazy too.

Lots of love,

Manasi

#onceadanceralwaysadancer #bollywood #dance #passion #love #joy #wholehearted #chronicillness #pain #fatigue #suffering #smile #invisibleillness #ehlersdanlossyndrome