be grateful they say

{A note on gratitude}

When we tell someone to be grateful because someone else has it worse, we make light out of their situation. And when we do that, we invalidate their experience and make them feel like they are less. Like their experience isn’t bad enough. 

You can’t encourage gratitude in someone by igniting fear in them. Gratitude grows in a space of love and faith. Not fear. It doesn’t magically come to you simply because someone else has it worse. It’s a state of mind you work towards, feed and maintain.

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glorification​ of busy

we need to stop the

glorification of busy. 

we are all “busy” 

with something or the other. 

how is one person’s busy any busier than that of someone else?

why do we live under the impression 

that more busy = more important? 

or more busy = more successful. 

it’s not how busy you are

that counts. 

it’s what you are busy doing that does. 

and the bottom line is, no one has time for 

anyone or anything that doesn’t hold a certain value. 

the next time you casually tell someone 

“oh, i was just busy”,

take a moment to step out of your mind 

and ask yourself if that’s the truth, a subconsciously cultivated habit or a mere excuse to prove a point you’re afraid to face. 

we’re all a different kind of busy. 

and our busy-ness is worth nothing 

if we aren’t intentional about what we are busy with and who we make time for despite 

all the busy-ness. 

-m

I’ve been practicing setting healthy boundaries for over three years now. Initially, it used to feel scary, the thought of setting boundaries even with your loved ones or those you once loved but over time, I realised that it is okay to feel terrible about it and yet want to draw a line between yourself and anyone else.

It is important to protect your space; both internally and externally. That fear, that terrible feeling which sometimes feels like guilt is usually temporary and when you do in fact start seeing some positive shifts and change from learning to set healthy boundaries, that temporary feeling does disappear. Soon, you experience a very light, freeing feeling. I know this for sure.

I found peace in knowing that I’m doing what I’m doing for my the sake of my well-being and it always seemed worth it.

Setting healthy boundaries in your close and distant relationships is an integral part of self-care. It does not mean that you don’t tend to others. It means that you learn to tend to yourself first. Shifting your focus and attention towards what or who really matter frees up space and energy which can definitely be directed towards other greater things. There were many times in my life when events and situations around me made me feel helpless, as if there was no form of separation between me and others. I found that I was running low on energy for myself and that it was affecting my entire being.

It took me years to learn to set healthy boundaries and say ‘no’, firmly and politely where necessary.

Sometimes I catch myself slipping off my practice as well but I’m quicker to find my space and bring myself to stand my ground. You are allowed to go to any extent to ensure that your peace, solitude and sanity are well taken care of.

#Loveofallkinds


Love, because how else do you open doors to growth, happiness and peace?

Love, because how else do you become a more refined version of yourself?

Love, because how else do you learn to become more available for others and yourself?

Love, because how long can you possibly guard your fragile heart and remain surrendered to fear?

Love, because true strength lies in being vulnerable and being soft – with yourself and others.

Love, because even if there’s a risk of heartbreak and pain, there are rewards far more valuable than those transient waves of sadness.

Love, because when you choose love, you choose life.

#love #loveofallkinds