I haven’t been updating my Instagram or blog much lately and I don’t feel great about it because I really haven’t been writing much. Writing, for me, has been healing. I generally write a lot, whether or not I share my writings with anyone, but I do need that time and space to just be with myself.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to sit with a pen and paper in my quiet sanctuary where I pour my heart and soul out onto the paper. I know for sure that as my safe space starts to come together, and as my self-care routine becomes my primary focus once again, I will spend more time writing and sharing again too.
In the last two weeks, my ability to respond appropriately to my surrounding dropped drastically. It only makes sense, given that I have been dealing with too much at once. After sitting with this thought for a while, I realised that responses were coming from a place of fear and a sense of instability.
In 2017, I was once again required to make a hard choice for (not because) the sake of my health. Nonetheless, it seemed like the right thing to do and I’ve been okay with it. However, the physical of transition became so real in the last two weeks, it started taking a toll on me. I’ve been desperately trying to put things in place quickly so that I can finally let my body rest. The fear of what would happen if this transition caused my health to deteriorate even further worried me to an extent which reflected in how I responded to things around me.
I keep reminding myself that one of my strengths is and has been in my ability to adapt to the most challenging of circumstances.Unfortunately, though, I do have a tendency to be a little harsh and less compassionate with myself. Possibly a pattern from the past.
The truth is, it is extremely natural to freak out when things are moving too fast around us. This is how I see it: Transition = change = temporary instability = temporary disruption of routine = an opportunity to create a new, more present one = ability to transform & grow.
Over next couple of weeks, my goal is to allow myself the time and space to adjust. There is no need to figure out ten things at once. Some things may require my energy and others will sort themselves out.✨