I knew very damn well that #holi was going to be a fun, yet painful experience and I did what I could to make it easier on myself. I had myself taped up, took all the right medicines, wore proper footwear, I didn’t dance with the crowd and made sure I stayed alert throughout. The last time I played holi was back in 2008 – just a year before my body first showed me a sign that something was terribly wrong. Till then I could #dance freely, with all my #heart and #soul and not once did I have to worry about falling apart.
After we got back, my friend and I were sitting on my bed thinking about the day and how #fun it was even without much dancing. All of a sudden, in the middle of all the chitchat, I got the worst muscle spasm and a cramp, both together, in my left calf and thigh and I started yelling in pain. I couldn’t move because the pain was so deep, so intense.
I needed my friend to roll out parts of my left leg and I was literally moaning in agony as she tried to release those spots for me. I was giving her instructions and she tried to follow, but she’s never been in a situation like that so I could tell she was scared too. This entire episode lasted for a good 20-25 minutes and I was almost in #tears at the end of it.
That’s the thing – you know what can go wrong with your body but mostly, you never know when and at what scale. There is always some strange familiarity in these messed up incidents but they are just so unexpexted. Thank heavens I was at home and not alone in that moment. Life with EDS is so predictably unpredictable.
That said, I’m happy I went for holi today and now I have to give my body the time it needs to feel better. I hope it doesn’t take too long though! It’s okay to be #sick and put your body first and also once in a while permit yourself to do things you usually don’t. You just have to make a conscious choice and be willing to give yourself the right kind of care to recuperate.
If something makes you smile, makes you happy, do it. It’s a matter of balance and being aware.