Last Saturday I went for a longer walk as planned. It was one of my weekly goals! I had thought I’d cover a greater distance at a slower than normal speed but what happened was that I covered a greater distance at a much much faster speed. As far as I remember, and according to RunKeeper, this was the fastest I’ve walked in the past one-and-half years! The last I walked so fast was before my knees were affected (December 2013!). Now that is crazy. I know, it sounds as if it’s such good news, but I really don’t think it is.

Of course I feel happy that I was able to do it, but the consequences are not worth it at all. Since that day, I haven’t been able to even walk my usual distance, at my usual speed or do Pilates. And this is all because I got completely carried away on Saturday… walking at 8.5minutes per Km. Okay, those who run, you’re allowed to laugh. But this is my fastest now. Can’t help it.

I think I started off at my usual pace (you can imagine what that is) and about 35 minutes later when I got back to my starting point (my home), I seriously got a shock of my life. I couldn’t believe the speed I was walking at! Just a fraction of a second later, I realized that my body wasn’t doing too well. Let me skip the details for now. It’s sad when this happens…. when I don’t realize what I’m doing to my body because of my mind.

My body was in pain throughout, but I didn’t stop. I didn’t register that I needed to stop.

So my brain was overworking throughout that week and when I went for my longer walk, my thoughts were really spinning and running at an unbelievable speed. I don’t think I was paying attention to my body even a bit (and I usually make sure I do) because I was busy catching hold of my thoughts. It was a week’s worth of mess that I had to figure out. Oh, AND, I lost my Bose Earphones few days ago (NOT the best time to have lost them……), so I was walking without music and I hate that.

I purposely listen to really slow songs so that I walk at a slower pace… take SLOOOOWWW steps forward…. one foot at a time….

That didn’t happen this time.

Being at the beach on a Saturday morning with all kinds of thoughts and without your earphones is a bad idea idea. You’re surrounded with people running, cycling and rollerblading their butts off; which is extremely motivating and demotivating at the same time. I usually feel motivated…not to try and match what they’re doing or their speed, but to do the best I can while listening to my body.

I didn’t feel motivated that day. It didn’t feel positive. The speed at which my brain was working matched the speed at which people around me were moving. I’m sure this had a subconscious effect on me and I ended up walking at a speed I forgot I was even capable of!

So here’s an equation I came up with. It’s harder to comprehend than Calculus. Trust me.

No slow music + thinking a lot + feeling like crap + checking out fit people = walking too fast = 4X(normal pain) + tensed back + inflamed knees = ruined routine for a week or two = feeling worse = slowing down all over again + talking lots of painkillers + icepacks and hot bags + extra tape and guards 

You know, I can push my body if I have to or if I must. But I don’t want to now and I surely don’t think it’s worth the pain and suffering it causes.

Each time I think about the consequences of pushing my body, I do not get a good feeling. Nope, not even if I walked at a speed I haven’t in sometime. What makes me feel good is that if ever I have to run for my life, maybe I’ll walk for my life at a faster pace. But other than that, nope. This doesn’t feel good.

Waking at an abnormal speed isn’t a solution to having my thoughts perfectly sorted. Maybe it works for others but I need be approaching this by slowing down (Yep! For the billionth time and counting) and working my way out of things. I need to keep calm and slow down.

I’m already feeling MUCH better now.  I will give myself a few more days to feel better and maybe a week to be able to walk again.

Good day!