Broken Eggs Crisis.

So here’s what happened about a week back.

I was just about to leave home for Pilates. I had a plastic bag on my dining table, full of stuff I didn’t need anymore. Well, it also contained a pack of eggs. JUST as I went to get my phone from my bedroom, that pack of eggs slipped out of the overfilled plastic bag and… yes, within less than two seconds, I had five broken eggs all over the floor…yucky, oozy and yellow…and… SMELLY…. I mean, I can’t  stand the smell of egg yolk while I make omelettes so this was… let’s just say…probably one of my worst nightmares.

I don’t think I had ever stopped…..(in my life of 24 years)… think what I’d do if something like this were to ever happen.

So I looked at that mess and wanted to puke. I got a slight panic attack, but I told myself that I need to learn to fix this. Such things can happen in life. Anything can happen in life, right? So I calmed myself down and decided to do this in a strategic manner. With that mess on the floor and my knees in guard, and my right shoulder barely out of a sling… I didn’t want to bend down too many times or use my arms too much!

SO. Since Google usually helps with most things (right?), I searched how to clean broken eggs. Yes. That’s exactly what I typed : How to clean broken eggs.

…..and why wasn’t I surprised… people had searched for it before!

It said : “Put a generous amount of table salt on the broken eggs and let it stay for about 10 minutes.”

I got too generous with my salt. I poured 1/4th the pack of salt all over it nicely, covering practically the whole thing. I let it stay for about ten minutes while I wondered about the chemical reaction that was happening between the eggs and Sodium Chloride…on my floor.

Reminded me a bit of the chemistry experiments we did back in school.

So after about ten minutes, that stuff had hardened up (the salt absorbs the liquid and solidifies the egg) and looked way more bearable. All I needed to do then was to bend my knees just once, use a broom and scrape the hardened egg plus salt combination out onto a dustpan, and then mop the crap out of the floor using 1/2 a bottle of Dettol. Oh yes, I sprayed 1/2 a litre of air-freshener all over the dining hall after that.

I didn’t think I needed Pilates anymore. I am trained to do a lot of functional movements at Pilates and now I very well know why.

Legwork – done
Glutes – done
Shoulders – done
Lower back – done

All checked, all used. There was no need of Pilates. I was tired as hell and all I needed was my bed and my hot bags.

Frankly, I thought this was a fabulous solution!  Had I tried to clean that up with anything else, I would’ve taken much much longer AND I would’ve hurt myself. Plus, I probably would’ve made the mess worse with my puke.

For most people, cleaning broken eggs would be disgusting. But just disgusting. For me, it was more than just disgusting. With it being disgusting beyond my tolerance level, it meant more effort. More effort meant more energy. More energy meant more spoons. More spoons meant more decisions. More decisions meant I may have had to cancel my Pilates. But I didn’t. My Pilates session turned into a half-physio session with my trainer releasing all the tight muscles.

No matter how easy it sounds to clean five broken eggs off the floor, I have to think of making it even easier than that. We say there’s no easy way out for most thing, but these days I don’t care if I waste time to find easier ways out for myself. Maybe that’s the whole point of everything anyway. We have to keep figuring out ways, our “special” ways, to get through things – even if that means to see what Google says. At least it prepares us better for the next time.


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